guys i think it’s time we moved past this whole rush limbaugh thing. he’s apologized for his word choices. he shouldn’t have called her a slut and a prostitute, those are crass terms, clearly he should have gone with strumpet or courtesan.
The film critics, who are always really harsh, said the movie was good and stuck to the book
when it comes to children’s entertainment, film critics retract their already nubby and impotent fangs, and award points for tolerable blandness. if the lorax does end up being a decent movie, i will admit it is such, but my comments regarding its advertisements, aesthetic decisions, and the wretched past of its screenwriters will continue to make nothing but boundless and marvelous sense.
so that lorax movie looks like utter shit and garbage. every time i see one of those BRIGHT FUCKING ORANGE “Look How Iconic This Character Is” posters it’s like some blaring reminder of “hey arlo guess what animation is about? makin some mothafuckin moooneeeey hells yes!” let’s tie this shit into a goddamn car commercial because Why The Fuck Not.
like man you know who i trust to deliver a screenplay that translates one of the greatest works of one of the 20th century’s greatest storytellers? the dudes that wrote fucking “hop.” i’m particularly fond of the way that the comedic centerpiece of the advertising campaign is a bit in which orange danny devito is aghast at the fact that a larger woman identifies as female. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA SOMEBODY FETCH THE FUCKING SEAMSTRESS TO SEW MY SIDES BACK TOGETHER.
and hey, Thought Process Of A Vaguely Creative Person 101: if seuss were working with, you know, not-pen-and-paper as a medium, he probably would have drawn his characters a little differently because jeeeeesuss christ does that style look shitawful in cg. with that horton hears a who movie at least they were all elephants and kangaroos and shit, but detailed flesh wrapped and stretched around a three dimensional rendering of a seussian human is something that my mind will never be ready for.
like i’m a progressive guy who is pretty capable of adapting to and accepting new atypical concepts regarding human beauty, but now i’m fortunate enough to have discovered what my limit is, and it’s fucking this:
i will only pirate this movie to find out who the writers actively hate more, dr seuss or children.
the writers for the office waste zach woods. i would watch “the gabe lewis show,” although i would spend the whole time wondering why it isn’t as funny as it should be.
Bless this thread.
Right after the big deal about Disney’s first black princess*, we’re riiight back to this. Way to go, Disney.
*who spent all of 2 seconds as a princess and spent the rest of the movie reminding black kids to shut up, work hard, and accept your lot in life while the white kids get puppies for being spoiled. Real damn progressive.
anyone who took issue with princess and the frog showing a disparity between the ease of life for black and white people in 1920s america needs to take a couple steps back and remember the difference between “a movie”* and “a lifelike interpretation of ron clements and jon musker’s neo-fascist wet dream.”
like holy shit do i love analyzing the social politics of art, but then somebody will always burst in and go “HEY PATRICK BATEMAN KILLS WOMEN, I GUESS BRET EASTON ELLIS MUST THINK WOMEN SHOULD BE DEAD” like the only form of literature they’re familiar with is a fucking christmas wish list. that somebody could really do everybody a favor by removing “art criticism” from the array of topics in which they apply their enthusiasm for social justice. because hey guess what, when you’re saying that a movie set in 1926 new orleans is being racist for not pretending like black girls got to sit around and get just as many adorable puppies as the white girls, then oops, looks like the tables have turned, the plots have twisted, and bruce willis is having his heavily foreshadowed epiphany, you’re being racist!
yes, making non-white children feel good about who they are is terrifically important, and something disney should do more. but if your suggested remedy is teaching kids that they should feel good about whatever their ethnicity is because PRIVILEGE AINT EVEN A THING, then really you don’t even have anything to worry about, because they already did that. in 1946.
*i just know somebody’s going to confuse that sentence with indication that i think EVERYBODY SHOULD CHILL OUT IT’S JUUUUST A MOOOOVIE. i can fucking taste it.
(the reblogged picture is dumb. it makes a valid point that should be discussed, but i am too busy being put off by how dumb it looks. also a general sense of “fuck if i’m getting involved in that conversation.” even thought that conversation is potentially much more compelling.)
hey
hey
catholics who decide to start a business.
if you don’t want the government to have any role in how you deal with health insurance, might i suggest not starting a business?
dear doughnut shoppe girl,
what happened to us? i thought we had an unspoken agreement. i smile at you, maybe we flirt a bit, and you give me a doughnut with a respectable amount of sprinkles. you clearly dig me, and our primary means of communication is the exchange of currency and confectioneries. why then would you give me one utterly devoid of sprinkles?
women are SOOOOO confusing!!!!!!!!!!
naked city spleen is one of those things that reminds me how there’s no decent reason for me to be on the internet right now as opposed to doing awesome shit
